THE POWER OF A WORD
Words matter. Not just as labels ~ but as lifelines.
Dr Aurélie Athan, a dominant woman in the world of matrescence who a clinical psychologist and Columbia University faculty member is who is widely credited with reviving the concept of matrescence for modern mothers, puts it simply and powerfully: “words create worlds.”
When we name something, we make it real. We give it weight. We give people permission to feel it, talk about it, and stop suffering in silence. And that is exactly what happened when Dr Athan brought the word matrescence ~ first coined by medical anthropologist Dana Raphael in 1973 ~ out of the academic archives and into the lives of mothers everywhere. (we have so much to thank these mothers of matrescence for!)
"Words create worlds. When we have a lack of language and don't know how to articulate our experience, we are left voiceless."
~ Dr Aurélie Athan, Columbia University
FOR DECADES, MILLIONS OF MOTHERS HAVE BEEN LIVING THROUGH ONE OF THE MOST PROFOUND TRANSITIONS OF THEIR LIVES.
A complete biological, psychological, emotional, social and spiritual transformation ~ with no word for it. No framework. No permission to struggle. And in that silence, shame moved in. Guilt moved in. The creeping certainty that something must be wrong with them.
Nothing was wrong. They were going through matrescence.
Dr Athan's work gave the world that word back.
And once a word exists ~ really exists, shared and understood ~ it travels. The ripple effect of matrescence doesn't stop with the mother. It reaches everyone around her, and everyone who cares for her.
When a partner understands matrescence, they stop taking the change personally ~ and start showing up differently.
When families have the word, they stop waiting for the old version of her to return.
When healthcare providers are educated in matrescence, they move from treating symptoms to supporting a whole person in transition.
When organisations recognise it, they build cultures that honour this shift rather than punish it. And when society holds matrescence as a known, understood, collective experience — we all carry mothers better.
One word. Profound, wide-reaching change.
AND FOR THE MOTHER HERSELF?
She can no longer keep it a secret. She can no longer mother quietly, head down, struggling alone in silence ~ convincing herself that everyone else is coping, that she is the only one finding it this hard, that there must be something wrong with her. She needs the word for herself ~ to finally make sense of what she is living through, to hold it, to name it.
But she also needs to share it. Because once you have the word, you cannot unknow it. You cannot unsee what it explains. And you realise that every mother around you ~ your friend, your sister, the woman in the playground who looks like she has it all together ~ is going through this too.
THE WORD BECOMES A BRIDGE.
It starts conversations that have never been had. It dissolves the shame that has kept mothers isolated for generations.
For the mother herself, understanding matrescence doesn't just offer comfort — it changes the way she sees herself, the way she moves through motherhood, the way she relates to every other mother she will ever meet. It changes her life. In so many ways, it gives it back to her.
Here is what happens when she finally has the word:
You feel validated. You're not going crazy. Matrescence is real, it's recognised, and it gives your experience the weight it deserves.
You accept the changes. Everything shifting makes sense now. Your whole centre of gravity has moved — and that's expected, not a failing.
You won't feel alone. It was never just you. Every mother goes through this. You are part of something universal.
You set realistic expectations. You understand your world has changed and you begin to reset accordingly — with more grace and less self-judgement.
You stop feeling shame. Not coping, not enjoying every moment, finding it hard — none of this is a character flaw. It's matrescence.
You stop comparing. Every mother's journey through matrescence is unique. There is no benchmark to measure yourself against.
You stop feeling guilt. The push and pull of motherhood is normal. Naming it removes the guilt of feeling it.
You start to be kinder to yourself. You show yourself the same compassion you give your children — softer, more patient, more gentle.
You reconnect with yourself. Matrescence doesn't just change you — it introduces you to yourself again. And in that meeting, something shifts for good.
You accept the irreversible change. You can't go back to who you were — and you begin to trust that the person you're becoming is worth meeting.
UNDERSTANDING, ACKNOWLEDGING & ACCEPTING MATRESCENCE CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Because knowing the word opens a portal. Not just for you ~ but for every mother who comes after you. A portal to a path of motherhood where every woman is understood in her transition, acknowledged in her struggle, and supported in her becoming ~ not just by the people closest to her, but by healthcare, by organisations, by society. That is the world matrescence is building. And it starts with a single word.
The Matrescence Project x Maytrescence
This blog has been written by The Matrescence Project ~ a key matrescence educator as part of a collaboration with Maytrescence, a ‘not for profit’ project working to embed matrescence into every journey into motherhood. Rachael and Hannah (founder of Maytrescence) goal is to actively drive progress to ensure that matrescence becomes part of ante-natal classes, maternity appointments, free parent resources, and everyday conversation. May is their month. A month to support the matrescence movement, so it seemed natural to partner up to give mums 10 reasons how understanding matrescence can change a mother’s life.
Understanding, acknowledging and accepting matrescence changes everything.
Because knowing the word opens a portal. Not just for you ~ but for every mother who comes after you. A portal to a path of motherhood where every woman is understood in her transition, acknowledged in her struggle, and supported in her becoming ~ not just by the people closest to her, but by healthcare, by organisations, by society. That is the world matrescence is building. And it starts with a single word.
